HOLIDAY BOUNDARIES SURVIVAL GUIDE
Your Toolkit for Preserving Peace During Family Gatherings
As we prepare to gather with family for the holidays, let's also ready ourselves with the tools we need to preserve our peace.
This guide offers practical strategies for staying grounded when old dynamics resurface and ways to strengthen your boundaries during challenging situations.
WHAT BOUNDARIES ACTUALLY ARE
"A boundary is a limit or edge that defines you as separate from others." —Anne Katherine
Boundaries aren't walls. They're not about shutting people out or being unkind. They're about clearly defining what feels safe and appropriate for you.
They create trust, keep us emotionally safe, and help us maintain our autonomy. Setting them isn't selfish—it's necessary.
WHEN YOU'RE TRIGGERED: THE PAUSE PRACTICE
If something triggers you during a gathering: Feel. Pause. Breathe.
Take a moment. Feel what's happening in your body. Breathe through it. Create space to address what's happening within you.
Excuse yourself if needed. A quick trip to the restroom can create much-needed space to clear and respond rather than react.
This is how you exert your power and strengthen your energetic boundaries.
PRACTICAL STRATEGIES
Before You Arrive: Mindset Preparation
Don't come from a place rooted in past experiences. Shift your energy to how YOU want to show up.
Use positive affirmations. Send positive thoughts to the higher self of the person who triggers you.
When Things Get Challenging
Remind them gently of boundaries you've agreed on
Remove yourself for a short walk
Phone a friend—plan ahead to have an ally you can call
Practice deep breathing (4:4 or 4-7-8 breathing)
Leave the situation entirely if necessary
Remember: You don't have to stay in a situation that feels unsafe or harmful to your wellbeing.
YOUR BAG OF TRICKS
Clear the Space
Burn cedar, sage, Palo Santo or incense with intention before and after gatherings
Open windows to let stagnant energy move
Bring Stones (keep them on you or in your pocket)
Clear quartz or selenite to help you stay clear
Black tourmaline for protection
Rose quartz for love and gentleness
Stay Hydrated
Emotions are about movement. When we're dehydrated, our energy doesn't move well. Water helps our nervous system regulate and our emotions flow.
Stay extra hydrated this holiday season.
AFFIRMATIONS TO ANCHOR YOU
I have the right to be here and take up space.
I have no control over other people.
I stand in my power and use it for good.
I love myself unconditionally.
I live in balance with myself and others.
A GENTLE REMINDER
Boundaries do not need to be perfect. They are a dynamic, lifelong practice.
You're allowed to set a boundary even if you didn't set it before. You're allowed to change your mind about what feels safe and appropriate.
Your peace matters. Your wellbeing matters. Your boundaries matter.
